Why America rules

I think this picture of Robin Wallner at this year’s Val di Sole round of the World Cup explains a lot. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I agree.

Data point #1: So here’s the thing: Old Rob here is way out of control. He definitely didn’t intend to find himself in this position. Sure, he’s committed, and he might even ride this one out, but it sure looks like his shoulder is headed towards that tree, and who knows when his back tire’s gonna hook up again.

Data point #2: Sweden is one of the most socialist countries in the World. Robin Wallner is from Sweden. Robin is also running Schwalbe tires, which were made by godless socialists in Germany. His godless, socialist tires aren’t hooking up too well, are they?

Data point #3: This root ball is the site of the huge gnarly mid-track root gap at Val di Sole. Instead of being a pussy, Aaron Gwin gapped it, with an American flag on his back, and won his fifth World Cup of the season. Aaron was winning on a set of Maxxis tires, which were made where all good American products come from: Asia. His capitalist tires hooked up sick. Argue that, it’s science.

I think we can all conclude that Socialism sucks and America is #1. I rest my case.

No, I don’t rest my case. Here’s even more damning evidence about the real costs of socialism. Let’s think about the Canadian Goose:

Canadian Geese hail from the great, White, Godless, Socialist North. Sure, Canada isn’t as Socialist as Mao’s China, but compared to the paragon of freedom that exists south of their border, they might as well be run by the Ruskies. So, Canada tries to set up this socialist utopia. They have higher, more progressive tax rates, a greater welfare state, more gov’t control of the economy and society, etc. And these Canadian, or should I say Socialist, Geese are always bragging about how great their system is. But what do they do?

They come vacation in America for half the year! If their system is so great, maybe they should just put their money where their mouth is. If America’s so evil and divisive, why are they always taking advantage of our free trade, and our sun, and our freedoms? And here’s more food for thought, without our economy, those Canadian Socialist Geese wouldn’t even have the money to support their fledgling socialist utopia. Yeah, Canada, you’re welcome. I said it.

Whatever this guy is saying, I agree 100%:

That is all for now.

-Chaz

3 thoughts on “Why America rules

  1. USA SUCK, YOUR TEAM SUCK, I HOPE YOU CRASH AT YOUR NEXT RACE AND WHILE BEING DOWN A HONEY BADGER ATTACKS YOU.

    SINCERELY YOUR BIGGEST HATER

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