Trail rules

classic pinkbike: “Probably a noob question, but why are there bmx only spots?”

Riding someone else’s trail spot is a sacred privilege. You must ask permission. Plan on being told no, or just having the digger pretend like he has no idea what you’re talking about. Do not bring firends. Do not bring cameras. Don’t mention it to your friends or family. Do not post about your “sick sesh” on facebook. Do not blog about them. Never tell anyone where they are, and lie about what city and state they’re in. You do not skid. You do not case. If you have to hurt yourself to avoid skidding, don’t skid. Before you even think about riding, water everything. If you have to walk two miles to get water, walk two miles to get water. Never walk on lips. Never walk on landings. Don’t speak to the trail builders or their friends until spoken to. Probably don’t even make eye contact. Apologize for everything all the time, and ask what you can work on while they ride. Plan on spending at least an hour not talking and shoveling some other project while the builders and their friends ride, drink, don’t help you, and generally enjoy themselves. It’s about respect; they deserve yours, and you deserve none. They build with dirt, and you are less than dirt. You are nothing. Maybe if you come and help dig and show up for every dig session for two years they’ll address you as a peer. Probably not. If you break these rules you will be yelled at, made fun of, shunned, banished, shot, stabbed, buried alive, or have your tires slit.

The reason BMXers hate mountain bikers is because mountain bikers do not understand these simple, obvious truths.

2 thoughts on “Trail rules

  1. This may be the best thing I have ever read on the internets. Thanks Chaz, and happy new years! Matty.

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