Only the best for Blopes

Continuing in our proud heritage of reposting Brian Lopes press releases, making fun of them, and then putting words in his mouth, we bring you more exciting news from the mountain bike industry:

Novatec Wheels Sign Brian Lopes


Big smile. Really excited about this product.


“I’m really excited to begin this relationship with Novatec. As I cash in on my name recognition and try to coast into the finish line of life, I don’t support just any product or company. I seek out the highest performing, best products available, regardless of how much or little they agree to pay me in salary, benefits, % share in the company, or for photo-incentives, mentioning their product in interviews, magazine ads, or event presence. Performance, and nothing else, brought me to Novatec.”

-Fake Brian Lopes

“We at Novatec like to partner with athletes that give as much back to mountain-biking as we do. It’s in that spirit that we are proud to bring Blopes onto the Novatec team. We are proud to join Brian’s other sponsors, a list of high-quality, high-performance brands that all represent the best products in their fields, brands like Lazer helmets, X-fusion suspension, and Magura brakes. Getting Brian’s seal of approval is huge for us, because Brian has a long history of riding nothing but the best, like GT and Marzocchi.”

-Fake Novatec Spokesperson

5 thoughts on “Only the best for Blopes

  1. ROBOT 9 …you got a problem.
    And you got it with ROBM- ROBM.
    It's about those PHODO _ DE, and it don't look good for RGYCO- RGYCA- RGYFR.
    Or even OSERGE!
    And RAINME got big problems with MEANNE.
    And we all know what that fucking means.
    ROBERTO GROSSATESTA got a BILLY FARR with CORY BORY.
    And so does ROSENROT.

  2. Did you know about NEWFOUNDLAND?
    They say it's part of the con and scams through LA.
    And they say it's about guns and SHYPE ?
    And they also say RUSH- CHENEY- JONES are into it with UN.
    They are also saying that it's with physicians like MPLEO who is ” DOVELEO”?
    And they are with ” CONSLYO” and ” SLYMAC “?
    This is why there is something called FAMAK and they say CONNIE MACK is with MARGARET CHO?
    How is this tied to OSIRIS and why is ” LACHILL” who supposedly is HILLARY CLINTON, mentioned?
    Guns and OLIVER NORTH?
    Is this that TEXAS oil in ” OILTE” with ” BESSO”.
    Is that why everyone is nervous about ” LEASSETA”?

  3. Bill Clinton is the ” deer”.
    It's Bill Clinton who is part of those ” CONSTARS”.
    This is why there's that company called ” BILCO” &
    ” PATBILL”.
    It's mob – IRA.

  4. I got IONFORK.
    This is METORST .
    IONFORK is just one of those ” ELSA ETORS”.
    They got a MUNDST which is UN and ZETAS working with the queen.
    This is YSCRO – YSPARK on RYSEA.
    It's about ESSEAL.
    It's about GATES.
    It's about WASHINGTON run by mob.
    So this IONFORK is RPORKET .
    This is with MMNST and MPEARLL .
    This is the JONES you speak of and he's in thick with ZETAS 99 with SHOCUSS- DWASS – SCHAR.
    NSFORKSH .
    It's all together.
    And it's with MAIMPORK – MP3.
    It's with PLO in DOESS – DOPLO.
    It's all about DIRDEMAN – TCORC- THE CKORR .
    And this ENDSMAN is with ENDEMP who is DASSAULT- DISNEY- DSDEN .
    FORKF = RSTEW, who is CONDOLEEZA RICE.
    And this is the MMELO with MMILAYST – EL
    SALVADOR – ROBERTO GROSSATESTA – MEL
    MARTINEZ and ROB LOWE.
    I am following these blogs from all over world.
    And it's all about the TEA PARTY and racism with UK.
    ” DESASSOOSSEGOS “.
    ” PPORTH”.
    ” FLOPME”.
    ” TELLEDATE “.
    ” KESSENTA “.
    ” US BOA”.
    The two with the United Nations are ” RUNTAR” and
    ” ORGEUN”.
    This is that FORKU.
    UTAH.
    And it's a net and web called ” UNETO” which is with
    TORONTO.
    Finally, this is the ” RENE COLATO” – Toronto.
    And she works with this Ann who they say is COULTER
    – ANFORK.
    One more .
    FORKEEMP.
    That's the physician in Toronto who goes by MP3.

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