Unwatchably bad


Steve is an awesome guy and an incredible bike rider, but this interview is just terrible. Not really Steve’s fault, but holy crap. I couldn’t sit through it. So. Many. Comments… HERNIA.

It boils down to “Interview Bro,” the name I’ve affectionately given the interviewer. That’s the guy who conducts the interview, I think. That means Steve would be the interviewee. Maybe.

I think the word “interviewee” is like “escapee.”

I don’t know.

Anyway, back to the video. Meet Interview Bro, the man at the top of the kill list right now:

Just for the record, Interview Bro narrowly edges out “tries to write witty things on the grout above the urinal at college guy” for the position at the top of the kill list right now:

First of all, nice sweatshirt, Interview Bro. I don’t know whether those are supposed to be stars or exploded alien guts or if it’s the latest Air Jordan XXVI limited BS edition Hoodie, but I love it. It really brings out… how much of a bro you are.

Second, why are you standing out on a windy, random slab of rock out by a lake. It just looks… uncomfortable. Plus we’re talking B.C. in early March, so we all know it’s colder than shit out there, you’re not fooling anyone. As if your interview skills weren’t enough to drive Steve indoors, you put him out in the cold. Sweet.

P.S. Nobody thinks you’re actually going for a bike ride together, so you’re not fooling anyone there either. We all know you hiked your asses way out to that rock, and when you’re done, you and Steve and the camera guy are going to hike your asses and that perfectly good bike back down to the car, go home, and warm up indoors. Why not just film the interview there? Oh, that’s right, because you thought it would be scenic to have trees in the background. I forgot you were an aspiring artist, Interview Bro.

Third, Interview Bro, put your hands down. It looks like you’re trying to communicate via semaphore but you lost your flags.

Fourth, no matter what Stevie says, your answer is either “sick” or “rad” or “for sure” or “totally.” If Steve had said he was planning to choke the life out of himself with a leather belt around his neck when he got home, you probably would keep nodding and say “shredtacular, dude.”

This is what your interview style looks like, Interview Bro:

Fifth. Interview Bro, do you remember when you were in junior high and your language arts teacher told you “there’s no such thing as a bad question.” Do you remember?

Guess what? Your teacher was full of shit.

When you open your mouth, it’s obvious you don’t know anything about bike racing. When you listen and do the bobble head thing, it’s obvious that you have no idea what Steve’s talking about.

So that covers dumb questions, but here’s a good question:

Is Interview Bro still better than Brett Tippie?

To illustrate how difficult that question is, I’ve enlisted the help of someone who’s really good at looking stumped:

One thought on “Unwatchably bad

  1. Tippie at least is somewhat unpredictable and knows alotof jokes, over half of which are funny. That's the best series of Bush photos I've ever seen, reminds me of the movie W

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