The Pinkbike Chronicles, Part I

This fork is currently for sale on my buy/sell on Pinkbike here for $550. It’s a 2012 Fox Float R. Is $550 too much? I don’t know, it was a guess. I know that it retails for $825, brand new. I typically put my prices fairly high, and put the disclaimer “reasonable offers only.” Sometimes when it’s an old POS bike part, I put “any offer.” This allows room for bargaining, and allows both parties to feel like they got a good deal. I never, ever end up selling anything for the original listed price. It’s not exactly a science.

Today, I got this email from pinkbike user “Nike7935,” who’s apparently from Portland. I’ve never had the chance to meet this person, but I can already tell he’s a really solid guy. Listen to Bike7935 try to give me the hard sell today on Pinkbike:

(Guy on pinkbike) Is your fox 36 still forsale?
send me your number

(Me) Yes it is. Are you in Portland?

(Guy on pinkbike) Ya im in portland, i can pick it up today for $460. Youv “mobbed” on this fork from what i can see from the pictures on team robot..

(Me) I’m not interested in selling for less than $500. I’ve “mobbed” on this fork less than 10 times. It doesn’t even have 10 hours of ride time in on it.

(Guy on pinkbike)I want your fork now, what are you going to do with another 40 bucks, im college student, hook a brother up

At this point, I was speechless. Actually, that’s not true at all; I was sitting in the library at school, and I flagged down everyone I knew to show them this email from Mr. Shortbus himself.

When you are in a high stress situation and have a desire to lash out and respond violently, sometimes it’s a good idea to slow down, take a breath, and not make any rash decisions. I like to type out all my possible responses and then erase them before I write my actual email.

Here are the top three ideas I had for possible responses to “what I was going to do with another $40” that I didn’t send:

3. (the truest and lamest response of all three) I work my ass off to race my bike, and even with the incredible support that my sponsors provide I am still broke off my ass or have small mountains of credit card bills at any given time (that’s not true, I get my small mountains of credit card bills online). I am chasing a dream right now, and that dream doesn’t pay for shit unless your name starts with two A’s and ends with “ron Gwin.” Plus, I’m not really that fast, so it’s a real uphill battle.

Look dude, I’m not trying to rip you off, and I wouldn’t be selling this fork unless I thought it was worth running. If you don’t like my prices there are currently 154 other people selling Fox 36’s for less than $500. Talk to them. To be totally honest, $550 is probably way too much to ask for a fork that I have “mobbed,” as you astutely pointed out. After weeks of being unable to sell my fork at it’s currently high price, I’ll probably end up dropping my price and selling this fork for $450. But, I’m sure as hell not lowering my price for you, even if you “want my fork now.”

2. I was going to go over to my favorite gas station/awesome t-shirt/knife/sword emporium, spend $20 on gas and $20 on a cheap katana that was made in China, and then drive over to your parents house and punish them with repeated swings of the cheap, dull, poorly made blade for ever bringing you into this world.


Gas stations can be awesome sometimes.

1. I was going to cash in all $500, turn it into one’s, and then use them to wipe my ass for the next year and a half.


(like this, but with one’s. I am in college, after all)

Boy, I’m glad I got that out of my system. Here’s the response I eventually decided on:

(me) If you want to do $500, let me know. I am not interested in selling this fork for less. If I cannot get $500 for this fork, I will make a lamp out of it.

Thank you,
Charlie

One thought on “The Pinkbike Chronicles, Part I

  1. Haha– perfect. I am pretty constantly amazed by how people think that being incredibly assholish can get them what they want when being a human being usually works better.

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