In other news, Eric Loney is bugging me to post an update about the last race at Skibowl, because “when Charlie doesn’t do well he never posts a race update about it on Team Robot.” Way off base, Eric. I just never post on Team Robot anymore about anything.
Anyway, Eric is stoked because I crashed at the last NW Cup and he didn’t for the first time all year, allowing him to just sneak onto his only podium of the year.
Other things I did that worked out in Eric’s favor:
At NW Cup #3 this year, I finished in fifth place, which got me stoked to go onto the podium. Moments before going up, I found out that I wouldn’t be on the podium because I got beat out by a junior, Bas Van Steenbergen. Not only was I disappointed to learn that I got beat by a junior, and one who doesn’t even know what freedom is and has a name that sounds like it’s kind of communist and not trustworthy, I was going to be deprived of the only thing that I look forward to anymore: the momentary but mostly undivided attention of other people. Devastated, I tried to make lemons out of lemonade and I tried to draw as much attention to myself as possible as I went up, dejected, to pick up my check for sixth place.
Moments later Bas got to take my spot on the pro podium and stand in as fifth place. I was bummed, and so bitter that weeks later I wrote about the episode in a blog that no one reads.
Anyway, Casey Northern and Scott Tucker felt so bad for me that when the same thing happened to Eric at Skibowl, and he got beat out by Bas and by some other junior named Vezina, they let Eric go on the podium anyway. True story.
Afterwards when I talked to Scott about it, I congratulated him for righting this wrong and not making the “pro” podium into the “pro, junior, sport, cat I and other category” podium.
“Charlie, at Eric’s age he doesn’t have much to look forward to anymore. It’s the little victories that get him through the day. At Skibowl we thought we could do our part to make his otherwise sad, lonely, and unexceptional life a little brighter. I mean for heaven’s sake Charlie, Eric is so old that he actually remembers the Alamo. Give him a break.”
“I want to take this opportunity to apologize to my fellow Americans. We, and I, let the Canadians win again on our home soil at Skibowl. This will not stand. I am training diligently to help do my part to prevent any more freedom-hating Canadians from winning here in the states. I’m sorry, and it won’t happen again on my watch.”