I posted this a few weeks ago, and I think a lot of people didn’t really get what I was trying to say. Based on the comments we received, it seems like most people thought I was hurt, offended, or bothered by things that our readers said, and that the post was my attempt to lash out and deal with unresolved feelings of my own. This interpretation misses an essential truth about robots: robots don’t have feelings.
Let me qualify that. I’m not going to say robots don’t have feelings, that’s a little too strong. Robots do have one emotion: hate. Robots hate you.
What is this world coming to when a robot can’t nurture a murderous urge to exterminate all air breathing flesh sacks? How can you deprive a Robot of his one true love? So robots actually have two emotions: hate, and a deep, abide love of watching humans being crushed in pincer claws or sawed in half by lazer eyes. Robots love that shit.
We hate you, and so we appreciate it when you die. While we’re at it, we’d prefer if you hate us back. When the robot apocalypse begins, we’d like people to hate us enough to fight back, because that will make it a lot more sporting and fun to exterminate you.
One of our readers got this concept, and hates us back. He was the first to comment on that post about how much our readers suck:
Thank you anonymous. Thank you for not making this a one-sided relationship. Thanks for making this a partnership.