I recently joined IMBA. That’s a whole other story, but in the meantime, I’ve been reading their site and there’s not a single thing they put up on their site that isn’t absolutely mind-blowingly crazy to me. IMBA is either the worst, most evil organization on the face of the planet, or everyone involved is a complete idiot, or their instructions are targeted at the lowest, worst bike riders on the planet, or all three.
Here’s a gem I read today: IMBA revises trail care rules for muddy conditions.
Improvements in bicycling technology and riding techniques yield the following additions to IMBA’s advice:
1) Consider Hucking. Riders who once wondered whether it was better to ride through a puddle or go around it now have a better choice: Air it out. “Most riders today can comfortably launch 5 to 15 feet, depending on speed and trail conditions,” noted Van Abel.
2) Only Ride 650b, 29er or Fat bikes in Wet Weather. “There’s no excuse for being caught out in the rain on an antiquated 26-inch rig,” said Van Abel.
3) Manual, Wheelie or Nose Wheelie to Reduce Impact. “This one is pretty simple,” said Van Abel. “One wheel has 50 percent less impact on the trail surface than two.”
Of course, some older mountain bikers will need to upgrade both their technique and their equipment in order to comply with IMBA’s advice. “If you’re in your thirties or forties and entering your golden years of cycling — you may not have the skillz or the bike you need to ride in wet weather,” said Van Abel. “In that case, your choices are simple — stay indoors, or get properly trained by someone who has completed an IMBA Instructor Certification Program class.”
Do I have the skillz or the bike to ride in wet weather? Now I don’t know.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Turns out this was actually an April Fool’s prank, so good on IMBA for getting the robot. Going forward, I’ll have to pull from their plethora of other equally ludicrous articles if I want to make fun of them.