BREAKING NEWS!! from TEAM ROBOT

BREAKING NEWS from Llangynog, North Wales.

For the fourth straight race this season, Gee Atherton has actually run his sponsor’s helmet, the One Industries Gamma. Atherton has also won all four races, a huge turn-around from the last two seasons where no one really cared about anything Gee did except Rampage.

Industry experts are speculating that Gee’s decisions to sacrifice his lighter, better looking, and more comfortable Troy Lee Designs carbon D3 and to actually use his sponsor’s product have pleased the Sponsor Gods, leading to what the Keepers of the Temple of Sponsors refer to as “positive sponsor karma.”

After taking the World Cup overall win in 2010 while using the Evo Carbon helmet provided by sponsor SixSixOne, Atherton was frustratingly unable to win races that anyone cared about during 2011 and 2012 while wearing an off-sponsor helmet, the Troy Lee Designs D3.

2011.

2012.

2013.

Here’s the inside scoop, straight from the man himself:

“After the Norway race last season I finally realized that the Sponsor Gods, in their all-powerful and titanic rage, had cursed my last two seasons and doomed my greatest aspirations to failure. I sat down with my team manager Dan Brown and we talked about how to really dial in the program for 2013. During the off-season we ascended a massive volcano, summoned the angry spirits of the Sponsor Gods, and cast my TLD helmet into the fiery chasm to appease their monumental fury. We also performed a live human sacrifice of the agent that got us the Continental tires deal. 

It took a while before I was comfortable looking like a life-size bobble head rolling down the course in my enormous new One Industries moto helmet, but after the Sponsor Gods began smiting my enemies and laying waste to their villages and families, I knew we’d made the right decision. We think appeasing the Sponsor Gods has been a big part of the team’s success this year, and we’re excited to be on a four-race winning streak heading into Andorra. Back at Atherton HQ we’ve got a good feeling about this year.”

One thought on “BREAKING NEWS!! from TEAM ROBOT

  1. First!!!!
    That helmet is so moto, it probably makes his bike go faster like a motorbike.

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