Why Euros are faster than us


No, this was not taken at Winter Park or Northstar or Mountain Creek. This is freaking Yugoslavia, people. So while you’re patting yourselves on the back for building your spoiled nine year old who failed out of karate class the ultimate dual suspension Jackson Goldstone Lil’ Shredder™ bike with a full color-matched TLD kit and carbon D3, Sergei and Tatania over in Yugoslavia have Sergei Jr. on a POS walmart edition crushing out laps in kneepads over sweatpants.

Sergei Jr. doesn’t give two shits. That’s the eye of the tiger right there: no hesitation, no fear. This kid will be faster than all of us in three years. No, he’ll probably never be world champ, but he and all his comrades will be owning 40th-80th place at every world cup you or I will ever go to, which is fast enough to bump most of the disappointing field of American riders out of qualifying position. At the end of the day, Americans are all afraid of their kids skinning their knee or *gasp* finding out that they suck at 99% of the stuff they do. Participation medals don’t win championships.

Look at the helmet. Deep in your heart we both know you’re more of a pussy than Sergei Jr.. And he probably loves freedom more than you do.

4 thoughts on “Why Euros are faster than us

  1. u should cut and paste the above post and include it in your apology letters that you send out at the end of the season to your sponsers

  2. Charlie I ordered a t-shirt from your webstore about 3 weeks ago. I'm realizing now that there was no shipping charge. How can I get my shirt?

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