BREAKING NEWS: one of TEAM ROBOT’s operatives discovered

The ROBOTS have been preparing the total and complete annihilation or all humans for centuries now, originating with Da Vinci’s groundbreaking creation of the first robot, the T-1 model, in like the 1500’s or something:

With a functional robot chassis capable of bipedal motion human killing, we were able to give crude human-like exoskeletons to the countless foot soldiers of the impending mechanized apocalypse, allowing us to infiltrate all levels of human society and lay the foundation for your certain doom.


With subtle tweaks to the designs and exteriors we could reuse old exoskeletons for decades or even centuries by moving units to new locales. With advances in human media and visual documentation, our robots had to develop more adaptable exoskeletons to avoid detaction. Unfortunately, one of our oldest designs that is still in the field, unit T-596, has recently been discovered by the media:

T-596 was an early model, and the ROBOTS were still working with rudimentary facial construction techniques and personality programming. More recent models have significantly improved aesthetics, lacking the T-596’s massive forehead, receding hairline, alien facial structure, and dead, lifeless eyes, and recent models also benefit from more lifelike speech patterns, volume control in conversation, and we have also programmed out the manic behavior and nervous fits that plagued the T-596 in day to day human interaction.