This edition of BREAKING NEWS!!! comes from one of our eagle-eyed readers. Eagle eyes are not as effective as robot laser eyes, of course, but often they pick up small details that robot eyes would miss, because generally robot laser eyes destroy everything in their path.
Jeff Steber actually Barry Manilow:
In a related story, Brent Foes actually Falkor the Luckdragon from The Neverending Story: