Everything is horrible

http://www.pinkbike.com/v/embed/400828/?colors=c80000

In formal terms that Brannigan video was horrible. The composition of the shots was terrible, the film guy cuts the rider’s head off or misses the rider completely in half the shots, the video was probably shot in the middle of the day and the light is terrible, going from blown out hot spots to big dark shadows, the rider’s out of focus most of the time, the colors are flat and brown, and the clip sequence doesn’t make any sense. Even the logo at the end looks like 240p as seen through a kaleidoscope.

Basically it’s perfect. I’ll take a painfully Kiwi mate holding an out of focus handicam shielding his hangover from the brackish noon-day light with dark sunglasses over an unironic self-serious “artistic” BC freeride bro any day.

Here’s the formula:

  1. Give a video camera to someone. Anyone, really.
  2. Have them point that camera in the general direction of a racer as that dude goes completely apeshit with their riding.
  3. Motorhead.

Compare that two minutes of Brannigan to this two minutes of his Trek teammate Brook, also in NZ. Roughly the same length, same location (New Zealand is all one place in my brain), and basically the same rider:

https://player.vimeo.com/video/68194573 Brook MacDonald Charging – #notbad from Anthill Films on Vimeo.

I’ve watched that Brannigan video five times already, but getting me to watch that Brook MacDonald video again would look like this:

18 thoughts on “Everything is horrible

  1. I love the part when the punters come through and double double all clacks ton style then our boy comes in and turns 2×2 into 4. FUCKING DIALED.

  2. I'm really glad the Robots shared that Brannigan perfection. Oh, you should visit New Zealand to know that it's definitely not all the same place. The only place that matters is the #nativebush, which also happens to be where nobody ever films because it would be impossible to lug a heavy-assed glide cam, jib and Red in there, and impossible to deal with the lighting situation, and impossible to deal with your viewers brain's exploding when turning a 400pack of roots into a quad out of every turn was what happened the First Run, Every Time. Can someone please do that? It could be Brook's gritty rebuttal to Brannigan. Fuck Anthill lighting. Shadows are where the magic happens.

  3. Nobody has ever celebrated having 1st comment on here.

    That's a bad sign for the future of this blog.

  4. all released videos should only ever feature racers only, be at max 15 minutes total, never have any slo-mo, and of course have good music. if anyone talks about flow or something being epic they get shot.

  5. What's peculiar is that everyone fucking agrees this is a superior video. Everyone.

    And yet, the stupid continues.

  6. 1. anybody filming that brannigan video on any camera would look good. if it were you, or that guy a few comments above who said videos should only be of racers (probably an unsuccessful mid-pack racer), then it would just make you look even worse riding

    2. you chose one clip in slow motion and called it a video.

  7. No mention that he cleans the gap that ate Chainsaw's ankle and 2014 WC season in one fell swoop? Damn. Major points right there, in my book.

  8. Charlie I have to admit you are very good at recognizing videos of riders who are waaaayyyyy better than you. #collabo

  9. “Those two assholes pretty much shut down all filming at Skyline for the next three years.”

    WRONG.

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