Saw that the SX season wrapped up, and looking through the standings I saw that Cole Seely got the big W at the Houston round. It’s pretty exciting anytime someone wins their first race at the top tier of a sport, and a little googling brought me to this spectacular opener of a sentence:
“Ryan Dungey pretty much had things locked up when he came into Houston’s NRG Stadium, owning an 80-point lead in the Monster Energy AMA Supercross Standings, but there is always a mathematical chance that something bad can happen, but the Red Bull KTM rider made sure nothing like that happened and after getting off to a mediocre start (He was 10th at the end of the opening lap) the “Dunge” cautiously worked his way into an eventual runner-up finish on lap 14 of the 20-lapper, more than enough to beat out second overall in the standings, GEICO Honda’s Eli Tomac, to claim his second Supercross title with three rounds remaining on the schedule.”
Yes, that’s all one sentence. I made it about halfway through before I realized that there are no periods. Reading with bated breath, I hoped that the writer would keep the momentum going, keep the sentence rolling, eschewing conventional wisdom and the warning of grammar nazis everywhere in his quest to fit an entire opening paragraph into one single sentence. Could he do it?
One parenthetical phrase. Two parenthetical phrases. This is a good start. Now three, and then an actual set of parentheses. He’s on a roll, no sign of slowing down… four parenthetical phrases, and the finish line is in sight. He… could… go… all… the… WAAAAAAAY!!!!
Six commas and one set of parentheses later and this marathon of a sentence is complete. Congratulations go out to Shan Moore from Cyclenews.com on his crowning achievement. Bravo sir. Bravo.