A question to the panel

Now that I officially live in a van, what’s the shit/shower/shave/maybe workout plan? I can get wifi, coffee, and oily, sad croissants at Starbucks, but the Starbucks bathroom shower of shame has limited appeal. Here are some ideas, chime in if you’re a seasoned road warrior/Matt Foley/
YMCA membership:
Their image, not mine. 

LA Fitness:

Au natural:

20 thoughts on “A question to the panel

  1. Preferred option for myself is river/stream/lake nearby. Do asap i.o.w. still hot and sweaty so any water will do- even the river in Lot 5 at Whistler which is amongst the coldest of waters.

    Second option is bike wash hose. Trail heads or bike shops often have these to use. Works well and a good opportunity to put on a show for the ladies (or men if that's your thing). Con is you can't get naked.

    Third is cheap motel. Every now and then spring for a little luxury. Remind yourself you're human.

    Fourth. Her place. Only fourth cause I'm ugly and it never happens. But my mind goes there sometimes when the bike wash hose is down my chamois… one day dammit.

  2. Use the bumper-dumper to fertilize a vegetable garden in a flat trailer you tow behind the van. Hawk the goods at local farmers markets or YMCA parking lots.
    Take smoke baths over campfires. You'll avoid the skin diseases from the river AND still get to meet the local law enforcement!

  3. Car wash sans van.

    When you are a dirty bastard a good scrubbing is what you need.

  4. $5 gets you day use at the State Park. Also, there's no shame in scrubbing your bonch in what ever PUBLIC bathroom you see fit. #seeyouaroundbuddy

  5. this is the best post you have ever made.

    I vote for the river most often. That shit is buck. Street cred through the roof. Extra points for leeches.

    YMCA when you're feeling like a classy son bitch.

    LA Fitness when you have the runs and want to shit in the shower.

  6. oh and the costco wipes idea is hella solid. keep those on hand for wiping up cum stains.

  7. 24 hour fitness has more chicks and is always open.

    Consider a pet such as a mixed breed mutt or even a little kitten.

    You don't want any facial hair if you are living in a vehicle, otherwise most people assume it's a permanent situation.

  8. After years actually living in a van, I finally found a way to shower easily in my van. Here's what I did. First I built a contraption with pvc pipes designed to hold a shower curtain attached to the roof inside the van. You'll need to figure this part out for yourself. I leave mine in place even though it's easily removable. Next I bought a plastic storage container at walmart like this one : http://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/sterilite-38-l-ultra-latch-box-blue-eclipse/6000083361076
    and a camping shower like this : http://www.ebay.com/itm/Battery-Powered-Handheld-Portable-Outdoor-Camping-Shower-/131245695597

    So I hook up the curtain, put the plastic container on a towel on the floor, warm up some water in large pot ( 2 gallons is enough usually) and drop the shower pump in it when ready. Enjoy short but satisfying shower. Then empty container and let everything dry. Stuff everything back in the container and store away. You're welcome.

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