This is what happens, Larry


That’s what you get when you start your run with a freeride flick. That’s the best I’ve got for you this afternoon.

As far as the Gwin run yesterday, what do you want me to say that hasn’t already been said a thousand times on Pinkbike and Vital and Facebook and every other site you check while trying to avoid work?

“Unfathomable.”

“Incredible.”

“One of the greatest runs of all time.”

“Way, way, way faster than TEAM ROBOT.”

All of these comments have been said a million times already in the great echo chamber that is the internet, and I have no value to add to this conversation.

The internet news cycle
That said, commenting on the echo chamber itself is where ROBOTS tend to excel, and I’ve really enjoyed all the fat, slow, lazy, and(or) bad riders who are so excited to suggest every downhill race be chainless from here on out. Even more than that, I enjoy the armchair engineers who think after Neko’s and now Gwin’s run that chainless is somehow faster.

No, the only moral of the story is what you already knew and didn’t want to admit: Gwin is a complete savage, and will probably go down as the most dominant racer of all time. It’s looking like another year of total Gwin domination. 1st, 2nd, and now 1st in Leopedalgang without a chain? Except for Lenzerheide, Gwin has won on all of the remaining tracks this year, some of them multiple times. If you’re a fan of nail-biting race action, you might want to sit the rest of the season out, because this is looking a lot like 2011 and 2012 all over again.

Okay, if pressed to comment on the Gwin thing, I’d bring your attention to this now hilarious photo of Gwin’s mechanic John chilling with a beer clearly not working on Gwin’s bike or chain after quali’s on Saturday:

I’m sure Nathan Hughes had no idea how funny this photo would be after Sunday’s final. But it’s, like, really funny now.

23 thoughts on “This is what happens, Larry

  1. See, this is a good robot post. Not like the last one. And here I'd thought we'd lost TEAM ROBOT for good…

  2. Whistler may now abandon trying to bridge the progression gap between Crank-it-up and Aline in order to focus on getting the fire road flickers prepped and ready for the steep lips and gnarly compressions of upper crank-it-up

  3. How come nobody is giving TEAM ROBOT credit for getting Gwin's career back on track? Specialized learned from your observations and adjusted the leverage ratio and made it more progressive with the new link and now Gwin is on top again. Their are also some other things they learned from that you pointed out in this article:

    http://theteamrobot.blogspot.com/2014/10/bottom-bracket-height.html?m=1

    You are the man, your hard work and incredible blogging helped create the highlight of the season, if not eternity. You got America back on top again! You've had a bigger positive impact on Gwins career than probably anybody in the whole universe including God. Gwins prayers didn't work in 2013 & 2014 and he was praying a lot with Sick Mick back then trust me. But once you blogged that post in the fall of last year he got everything dialed in and everything turned around for him and he has been back to his old winning ways.

    Specialized should pony up and get you on their World Cup roster for payback, you did more for Gwin in one blog than Eric Carter did in a whole season.

  4. I hadn't noticed the bat height post, you got a sharp eye. Spot on, you deserve some of gwins uci points.

    Sram chains can't be trusted, it would be hard for the mechanic to get it wrong, right?

  5. Breaking Now: Specialized fines Gwin's mechanic for being intoxicated while on the job. Lawsuit still to come from HQ.

  6. So maybe Eric Carter wasn't as awesome for Spec as everyone on pinkbike thought?

  7. Just proves to all the atheists out there that God is real.

    #believetoreceive
    #speedfreakjesusfreak
    #nochainbiblebrain

  8. Having just crashed HARD on the last turn before you get to the lift line (yes, after you cross the road, after Heart of Darkness), I have some sympathy for homeboy who Cranked it Up too far.

  9. of course gwin wins now that eric carter isn't there anymore, it's the only reasonable explanation

  10. How can somebody so obviously stupid be so damn blatantly fast?

    Just shows that freeriders are smarter than racers, ain't no Jesus freaks at Rampage.

  11. I PRAYED LONG AND FERVENTLY BEFORE THE RACE FOR GWIN TO BREAK HIS CHAIN AND STILL WIN

    GUESS THAT PROVES THAT ALLAH IS THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE GOD

  12. Sets a new standard for DH tracks. If it can't be won without a chain it's not a real DH track.

    Enduro really sucks now.

  13. No way Gwin would have won without his buckboard stiff suspension. Guess I need to sell off my Avy fork cartridge now

  14. Whoever the annoymous commenter is that said there are no bible thumpers at Rampage, you've got to be kidding. That whole locale is one big Mormon desert. Any local rider from the Virgin-area was probably raised on lots of Pepsi and special underwear.

  15. “How can somebody so obviously stupid be so damn blatantly fast?”

    Obviously stupid.

    Obviously.

    Wut?

    I thought the ratheists were the ones who loved to accuse people of making claims without evidence and taking things on faith.

    Apparently Gwin's run has flipped not only the standings BUT THE INTERNET ITSELF!!!!!!

  16. “God is so good”

    Like god has the freetime to help some goofball win a pushbike race. He took time off from the genocides he oversees and all of the starving children that he allows to die every day and the thousands of people he gives aids to in africa.

    Why did god give gwin acne scars? Couldn't he pray those away?

  17. Gwin is just like every other supercross racer thanking some spaghetti monster in the sky. that is, they get paid by the church whenever they mention gawd on camera.

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