If I see you at the races with ankle socks on, I’m going to make fun of you, preferably to your face. Don’t take it personally, it’s for your own good. There have been lots of theories posited, but in truth I don’t really know why we all wear tall black socks. Maybe it’s to keep duff out of your socks. Maybe it’s to protect your lower legs from abrasion. Maybe it’s doubling as SPF cotton. Whatever, you just do it.
Lucas Chalcraft: call out
Adam Ransavage: call out
Stevie Smith: call out
Steve Smith is the biggest offender. There’s a “with great power… blah blah blah great responsibility” thing going on here, but more importantly, history has shown his ankles need all the protection they can get.
Really, they don’t even have to be black. You can be wearing the shittiest rasta colored pot leaf jah man socks and I’m not going to say anything. Yeah, they suck and you do too, but you expressed yourself within the confines of polite society, so we’re cool. You think that your “beer” socks are both original and hilarious? Fine, as long as they’re a 4-inch cut or greater. I don’t need to punish you with my words anyway, I’m sure your personality is punishment enough. There are so many bad, horrible, not funny or cute socks out there, perhaps an infinite variety of unfunny socks that boring people wear as a substitute for humor or personality, and while a part of me dies every time I see someone wearing them, as long as they’re not ankle socks, I can deal. It’s sort of like the way your parents look at you: yeah, they don’t agree with your lifestyle, choices, or girlfriends/wife, you’re borderline embarrassing when the neighbors ask, and they can barely keep it civil when you come home for dinner, but hey! You’ve got a job and you don’t ask for money very often, so that’s a win, right? They couldn’t have screwed up that bad.
And if you say something stupid about how you don’t care about fashion or how I’m being superficial, but you’re at a bike race and you still have a visor on your full face, you’re an idiot and I hate you.
Now on the other hand if you’re running full bullet head you can say whatever you want about stupid bike fashion- no argument here, you’ve earned that right.
Either way, you can wear ankle socks or you can wear a visor, but you can’t do both.