Your instagram stories are boring, no one likes them, and they make me want to stab my eyes out. Your life is only interesting when you capture the best, fakest, most curated split second version. Capturing those brief moments of interesting in your otherwise middling existence is the purpose of Instagram, so please, give me that or nothing. We all know this is what the rest of your life looks like:

Well, this minus the girls.

I’m excited that you’re coming home from some sweet trip, but that doesn’t mean I want to see a story of the plane wing as you’re landing, or you walking through the terminal. I’ve been on a plane before. Your plane wing looks the same as every other plane wing, and so does every airport terminal.

Your instagram stories are the reason for our water bottles:

4 thoughts on “FYI

  1. the world needs more of those water bottles. and team robot tees. Gotta monetize while people notice your resurgence, because it will be brief.

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