How to build trails that suck: #1 Don’t use dirt

After moving 20 yards of dirt for your landing, who has time to build a proper dirt lip? You sure as hell don’t. No, you have to get to work ASAP cranking boneriffic hands-up tuck no-handers. You need to wrap this project up so you can catch the last golden leaves of fall in your nicely framed photograph, highlighting your cute hammock and lack of creativity. Sure, there’s a gently sloping hill in the background, full of easy to mine dirt just waiting to help you build out a good lip, or where you could have routed the jump line to ad some natural contours and a dash of originality.

But no, you don’t want to do that. You want to go straight through the middle of a flat ass, boring ass yard, hack together a pallet and what I assume is old plywood from a deconstructed mini ramp, and build a lip that’s guaranteed to dry out and crack immediately when the sun comes out, crumble at the top where you only built the dirt 5 inches thick, and disintegrate when the wood rots from the inside out and rapidly looks like shit. But trick jumps are sick, right, bro?!?

There’s a difference between digging dirt jumps and digging trails. Trails are art, and they’re a labor of love year after year. Dirt jumps are built quickly, ugly, and in the most obvious, boring way possible by tank top wearing meatheads so they can huck shit “training” for contests. Cool dude.

But hey, this isn’t just a tip for little-bike jump builders. You can lower the quality of any jump anywhere by framing it in with found materials instead of using more dirt and building it the right way. And remember, it’s not just ugly, it’s also dangerous if someone finds themselves off line. So you’re not just being lazy, you’re also an asshole.

 

 

You can make small jumps worse.

 

You can make big jumps worse.

 

And everything in between.

 

This one isn’t finished, but it’s particularly egregious. This is the KILL LIST in jump form.

 

 

3 thoughts on “How to build trails that suck: #1 Don’t use dirt

  1. I think someone is trying to resurrect some ole Thor Wixom jib but in a more natural setting In that last photo.

  2. Bonus kill-list points for throwing kitchen appliances and broken tools in between the takeoffs and landings, no meathead DJ spot is complete without the gaps looking like the municipal dump in a 3rd world country

  3. It’s ski season now. Can you post about ski equipment and shit now? At least until I move back to California in a couple months. Same attitude but a relevant sport please.

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