The rules: high fives in videos

My friend JC has his own company making durable, handmade in America gear bags, backpacks, fanny packs, and stuff. I have one of his wallets. It’s pretty nifty.

Recently he launched a new product, a super-durable mesh gear bag so you can fit all your riding gear in a single smell-free platform, and he asked me to share it on TR. Normally I wouldn’t post this sort of thing, but the kickstarter video brought up an important subject that needs delving into.

A memorandum to the mountain bike filmmakers of the world: You’ve had your high five privileges revoked.

If you have a fixed camera position and two riders roll into frame, right in front of the lens, come to a stop, then initiate and complete the entire high five process before remounting bikes and rolling away, that sucks.

“How do we wrap up this sick trail ride edit? I want to send a signal to the audience that, like, we just had the sickest shred, and like, we’re totally stoked to be riding together, but at the same time, I want to give a sense of finality, that the shredding has drawn to a close, you know? How do we communicate these multiple diffuse themes with one simple action?”

“Let’s high five!”

Let’s not.

Normally I’d make an exception for actual high fives between friends in a candid moment, a la Wheel Love, where both parties aren’t visibly self-aware that they’re being filmed. But I think this is a drastic situation calling for drastic measures. High fives need a good, solid three year rest, across the board. No enduro high fives, obviously, but no 50:01 high fives either.

It’s not that I hate high fives; far from it. I continue to be a huge proponent of off-camera high, low, and Top Gun fiving. It’s that high fives in bike videos have crossed the point of diminishing returns. Like the three crop system [Ed note: three field system] revolutionized agriculture by rotating crops and leaving fields fallow to rest the soil and keep it healthy, I think we need to let the high five rest for a while.

No more high fives in videos until 2021 at the soonest.


7 thoughts on “The rules: high fives in videos

  1. Maybe just makeout instead? Or is that too gay? God this site is homophobic. I’m emailing CNN. Shit, what if it wasn’t two dudes? Now I’m sexist and homophobic, fuck!

  2. Since nobody else makes duffel bags, gear bags, mesh duffel/gear bags, or anything like that already, Chuckles, your friend must be almost as good as Mike Levy when it comes to original thinking, and truly Levy’s equal at the marketing-before-practicality impulse.

    A more interesting Q would be, why does someone need a “gear bag” when going for a bike ride.

    I’m reminded of the old Monty Python segue skit, 4-5 secs at best, showing an American constantly sniffing his own armpits.

  3. Like the three crop system revolutionized agriculture by rotating crops and leaving fields fallow to rest the soil and keep it healthy….

    You’re in a vortex. Classic.

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